Will Work for Shoes

The other week I spent an afternoon helping my Beninese Maman, Marie-Elise, with some unpacking. Three of her friends from France had sent boxes –  no, trucks full of boxes. Every room was stacked from ceiling to floor with second-hand gifts for schools, orphanages, and Marie Elise’s boutique. For three days, her home was a “Dead Yovo Marché” (the common name for markets where western-style goods and clothes are sold, as one assumes they were all sent from deceased whiteys).

Everything the French outgrew or didn’t want is now in possession of Benin. And frankly, Benin might not even want it either... I spent the day in awe of “stuff.” I recognized many specialized text books, unique kitchen utensils, fancy bath products, and several identical t-shirts with a misprint, as I have probably used several of them at some point back in the states.

I admit to fulfilling the American stereotype as someone who has always had so much stuff, struggled to find a place to put it, and put together many a box for Goodwill or the Salvation Army. While I am ever in favor to reuse and recycle, and such donations are generous and appreciated, I had a hard time seeing the receiving end of such Western consumerism, and it was bizarre to take in the quantity of goods found useless and no longer desirable to the developed world – only 3 people from the developed world, actually.

For many PCVs like me, a small draw for the job was a desire to live simply; this is a romantic yet valid assumption about life in the Peace Corps. However, we often find it hard to resist (furthermore, often gorge ourselves) when offered luxurious items, products of convenience, or foods from the home that we miss. With the opening of each box then, I prepared myself to covet something that was inside, like when I open packages from home, and I was somewhat shocked when I found myself not wanting any of it.

At the end of the day, despite my reluctance to desire the many familiar yet rare things in front of me, Marie-Elise did encourage me to take something in exchange for my help. And so, a pair of impractical (and now somewhat symbolic) shoes has found its way into my wardrobe. I wore them that weekend to a formal Peace Corps party, but I imagine they will be left to collect dust and find their way into the “leave / donate in Benin” pile once my time here is up.

I suppose I have yet to reach a genuine conclusion about the feelings I experienced that day and what it meant for me to accept the shoes, but this was clearly one of my first insights as to how the readjustment (just 18 months away, folks) to life in the U.S. will probably be equally as shocking (if not more) than when I came to Benin. I’m only 33% into service, and all my old ways are constantly questioned, just as circumstances I never thought about (i.e. where does all my unwanted stuff end up?) are finding their way into my daily life. It is without doubt that I have changed and will continue to do so, but the question and the challenge remains: to what degree?

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In other general news, here’s a quick update on the work front:

People are starting to better use my free labor, though it’s still a battle. Work was picking up in the schools last month, but I let myself lose some motivation to work there after being too naïve / hopeful that I let myself get involved with people who had ulterior motives in working with me. I am ok but less comfortable working with them, so it's been a challenge to keep motivated and keep my clubs going without the benefit of host country national partners. 

The girls club continues to go well with a group of freshman-aged girls who are learning how to develop their own opinions and gain confidence, and I do feel like I get through to them sometimes. We just did an essay contest for which the winner will get to go to Cotonou for the weekend to shadow a professional woman in the workplace. This is a pretty big deal for kids in my village, with farmers and homemakers for parents, so it does seem good to provide opportunities like that to them.

On the farm, I've got some beautiful green beans! All my cucumbers were attacked by worms, but it's an opportunity to use the garden for a demonstration on natural insecticides, so that's coming up. I'm also working on a grant to get them an irrigation system, because there's a whole lot of fertile land, though not enough man power or rain to utilize it all.

My women's group is learning all about tree planting and how to use a tree called “Moringa” to improve their agricultural and nutritional practice. My newly-formed men's co op is learning how to cooperate, and soon I'll be starting nutrition seminars with preschool mamans. So it's coming together, slowly but surely, but there’s still a long way to go. For now, I do the best I can, and appreciate the love and support from home.