We’re in the midst of the mini
rainy season now, which happens to be wetter than the big rainy season was a
few months ago. Despite my attempted explanations of climate change, I am often
corrected that this is merely due to the fact that people were performing ceremonies
a few months ago, so as to ward off rain while they installed electricity in a
nearby village. Let there be light.
It seems to be getting dark
earlier these days, and I pretend that I’m not only 7ο from the
equator, that Fall is actually a season here (not just wet and dry, or wetter and
hotter), and that the winter solstice is right around the corner, followed by
Christmas and the new year, and then before I know it, I’ll be home. I’m sure
that’s how it will go in some sense, but it’s hard to believe on days like
today, when the highlights are listening to the rain fill my buckets (no trips
to the pump yet this week!) and finishing yet another book.
Though Sunday is a universal
excuse for a lazy day, my weekends tend to blend into the “work week” these
days, because all seven of them seem slow and full of unanswered questions. I’ve
been experiencing bursts of impatience and hopelessness lately, as I’ve passed
the one-year point, though I’m not sure if that’s because it’s not enough time
left, or too much.
With 12 months to my name, the
pressure of living the Peace Corps dream seems to build: “Save the world!” “Transform
the village!” “Leave your mark on Benin!” But so do the inevitable realities
that the world is big, transformation is not in my power alone, and Benin has
been here long before me and will be here long after. And so, I don’t know what
else to do but to continue with the small garden projects and school activities
that scatter my calendar, from which I am uncertain if any lives are changed,
except for my own.
Regardless, I try not to blame the
rain for the dreary restlessness, and rather appreciate it for the blessing
that it is – a break from the heat, a few buckets of saved time and effort, and
a plausible excuse for another lazy Sunday.
No comments:
Post a Comment