I was visiting a colleague when a friend of hers stopped by to visit. Perhaps in
an effort to impress us, he arrogantly insisted he knew all about the
differences between our cultures, though for half of the
conversation, he was assuming I was French… His main points:
- “If I left a cell phone on the table here,
someone would steal it. And that would never happen in America. No one is poor
or greedy in America.”
- “If I
want to buy a computer in America, but I don’t have money, the government will
pay for it. Americans don’t have to work.”
- “If I want to come visit you at your house in
America, I have to call your secretary first and make an appointment. No one
needs to be welcoming or friendly in America, because they don’t need their
friends to give them money.”
That same day, I was stuck at
school, waiting for a rainstorm to pass, when my school director started ranting:
“I work 10 hour days here! I don’t make enough money! See how we suffer? If I
lived in America, I would never feel this way!” While Americans probably don’t
always consider how lucky they are comparatively, I’m sure that same rant has
been expressed state-side. I explained to him that the life of an American
teacher probably didn’t feel much different…
“But you get free coffee and meals
in American schools, right?” he asked.
No…
“Free lodging near the school”
No…
“Longer lunch breaks?”
Definitely no (the Beninese lunch
period is a 3 hour siesta)…
He
asked me about an American teacher’s salary in Chicago (he did his master’s
thesis on Barack Obama and is always looking for the opportunity to speak
English or talk about the president). We made a mock budget, estimating what
one earns and spends on food, housing, transportation, etc.
“You Americans can save some of your monthly
paycheck!” he exclaimed. So I had him do the same thing for a Beninese teacher
in a city. Same results… “Look,” I said, “one can save money here too.” He
looked at me for a moment, and chuckled a little. “No, no we cannot… We have to
go to parties on weekends.”
And when it comes to that cultural
aspect, I simply cannot disagree. Saving money is near impossible in this
culture, because one is expected to give money when a family member asks for
it, even if it was reserved for something else. Now pair that with the fact
that families are huge here (due to many factors: polygamy, a need for extra
hands in the fields, a lack of family planning, etc…), jobs are hard to come
by, and medical care is almost always necessary given the low health and
hygiene standards of developing countries. This is why people will often spend
money as soon as they have it – so that they don’t have to share. In Benin in
particular, this results in a lot of half-built homes and buildings – piles of
bricks and sand, that are in fact the family’s financial investment.
Furthermore, socially, the
Beninese are expected to attend every party to which they’re invited, where
they are obliged to spend large sums of money on matching outfits, food, drink,
and contributions for the blow-out funeral ceremonies that take place almost
every weekend. Not attending is a snub to that family. Again, families are
huge, so that can come back to bite you and your kin in the ass one day. Alas, one
cannot be both popular and rich, and in this culture, one is clearly preferred.
Once
I was working with my environmental club students, discussing soil quality, and
I tried to solve some confusion and lead them to the right answer by asking
them a general question: “which is better, to be rich or poor?” They
unanimously agreed “to be poor.” (I should know by now that I can’t give a normal
lesson without getting a cultural one)… When I asked for an explanation, they
said rich means greed and rich means everyone asks you for things. True enough,
especially here, when even the richest man will try to assure you he is poor.
If not to gain your sympathy, he will say so to avoid your open palm, to which
a culturally competent Beninese pocket must oblige.
…It’s
been a common theme lately, people complaining to me about how hard life is
here, and how much easier it is in America, as if they could get off the plane
and immediately have their pockets stuffed with cash. On more than one
occasion, a mother has half-jokingly held her baby in front of my face, asking
me to take him / her back to America with me.
Peace Corps goal 2 is about educating
my host country about America. While my usual response to these occasions is to
nod sympathetically, I feel like I’m feeding into a lie. Yes, America is
wonderful. But as an American, I can recognize that my country has hardships of
its own, despite the way it has presented itself and the achievement of the
“American Dream” to the rest of the world. I wish we could find a way that
allowed the rest of the world to have an “[Insert Country Name Here] Dream,” to
set an example of success, rather than appear to be the only success. The ways of America, the beautiful, won’t necessarily
work for others, as cultures are developed and valued so differently. How can
we go about encouraging economic and social development with a new standard
that doesn’t necessarily have to apply to ours, but makes each country into an
ideal for itself?
Of course I will agree that people
here struggle more in their own ways, especially as they have little to no
support from the government. But what I am more bothered by is the way in which
people who start such dialogues with me are usually doing so just to complain,
or to seek an easy way out, rather than to find lasting solutions to their
woes. While the man from my first story was also implying that Americans are
less hospitable and generous, I can’t say that there is any more evidence of
solidarity, or any less evidence of selfishness here. Only that the “every man
for himself” or “what can I get from you?” mentality is universal, cloaked in
its own cultural justifications.
This leads me to my second story…
"English
with Antoine” has been a common note on my calendar since last April. Antoine
is an English professor at the local secondary school, and he has become a sort
of secondary project for me the past 6 months. Antoine has been participating
in a series of tests that will allow him to work for the state as a translator.
One day he showed up at my house and asked to practice his English with me.
This is a common request from people I meet, but I had yet to tutor anyone privately.
I agreed, fairly certain he’d be like the others and forget or not have the
time to dedicate to actually improving. Much to my surprise, Antoine has a work
ethic and a focus unlike any I’ve seen here. He comes to study several times a
week, and we have taken to listening to NPR podcasts together, discussing the
stories and clarifying vocabulary and pronunciation as we go. He is determined
to land this new job.
In
working with Antoine, I have recognized that he is somewhat of an anomaly in
other ways too: he does pick and choose which parties he’d like to attend, and
he saves up part of his paycheck for new English books or a fancy phone. He
doesn’t enjoy drinking, or loud music, or going on dates. He doesn’t want to
leave Benin forever, and he doesn’t think life is easy anywhere. Rather, he
embraces this place as his home, and he therefore wants to make it better,
despite the fact that he is an “atypical” member of his community and doesn’t
entirely fit in with the masses’ ways of socializing or coping with the
hardships of this country. People like Antoine are those who I enjoy working
with: people who want to improve their own country, rather than leave it all
together. He gives me hope for a grassroots movement, the kind comes from those
who know and love their country, and also know what could be better about it.
Those are the ones that will truly make development toward those
“self-idealized” countries possible.
Enough
of my development schpeel and culture ranting for now… My goal is only to be
honest. Just as I feel a rekindled duty to realistically describe what life in
America is like, as I see it, I also feel obliged to avoid romanticizing the
Peace Corps experience that is two amazing, invaluable years of culture confusion.
I hope my observations and generalizations have not come across as
paternalistic or ethnocentric. I have learned so much so far here and there is
a great deal left that I will never understand. I find a humbling comfort in
it, knowing how much I do not know.
With
all that in mind, the next 10 months will fly by. Year two will be eons more
productive in the sense that my roles here are established, contacts have been
made, and I have a success or two to my name. I also expect it to become
somewhat more challenging however, to spend more time in the culture that I
have learned to accommodate, yet not always appreciate. But Geo and I are
healthy, and I’m looking forward to family visits for the holidays… Wishing you
all a lovely fall; I’m glad that will be the season to welcome me home in 2014!
